Love in 2018 involves loving yourself. In the Second Great Commandment, Love your neighbor as yourself, the yourself part is often forgotten. There is a huge problem, however, with leaving off the end. You simply cannot love others without learning how to love yourself!
It may seem like it would be easy to love yourself. But the world sends out a constant stream of messages that you are not good enough. In fact, your quirks and unique characteristics are part of what makes you you. And you are special. In fact, there is no one else exactly like you. There will never be another you. That means your love, your relationships, your experiences will never be replicated.
Learning to love yourself involves knowing your own primary love language. Is it gifts? Quality time? Acts of service? Physical touch? Words?
Understanding love languages is very helpful in all relationships. (See Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages, and take the 5 love languages quiz at www.5lovelanguages.com.) Learning to love yourself is the beginning of learning to love others well.
So, communicating love to yourself in your own love language is a great place to start the New Year. If your primary love language is words of affection, begin 2018 by shaping your internal communications with loving self-messages. If your primary love language is acts of service, learn how to do things for yourself that matter to you. Spend time in your garden, give yourself some special pampering, clean and organize your living room. If your love language is gifts, hmm, well, that’s probably not too difficult to figure out! If it is physical touch, give yourself a hug every morning when you wake up! If it is quality time, consider the spa treatment (see January 6 blog!). [Editor’s note: The spa treatment might work just fine for ALL love languages!]
Loving yourself is an important component of good health. Unlike narcissistic behavior, it equips you for healthy relationships and the ability to love others, including your neighbors.